Peaches and ... autoreplies?

I have so much to say. Mostly trying to remember everything for my memoirs...

First, my best friend (sense the sarcasm)...we'll call this student Grenade...(she is really dangerous when around others, and is so small but has a lot of bottled up rage that will explode frequently)...she had a run in with a different teacher today.

Now, let's put this into perspective. Grenade gives me ulcers on a daily basis. She cusses me out. She walks out of my classroom. She refuses to do work. She calls me names. She's a hot mess. I just breathe. And basically take it because there is nothing I can do about it. (She was supposed to be tested for some issues...we got parental consent...where'd the testing go? Where'd the support go? Why does she get to beat me up daily?)

But SOMEONE ELSE HAD TO REPRIMAND HER TODAY. And he did not have a good experience. So much so, that he told me about it as I was picking them up from gym...and he said, "Oh that one. She's a peach."

Well Grenade went OFF. She heard him call her a peach, and decided that:
a) She heard bitch. I told her he said peach.
b) HE SAID PEACH BUT HE MEANT I WAS A BITCH. No he did not, Grenade, I said. He called you a peach. Like your demeanor was peachy. I think he was being sarcastic.
c) IF I CALLED SOMEONE A PEACH I WOULD GET IN SO MUCH TROUBLE. No you wouldn't, Grenade, I said.

Proceed to stomp up the stairs. Proceed to stomp out of my classroom to go talk to ... I don't know. The people who coddle her?...Proceed to have the male teacher interrupted during his teaching to explain why he called her a peach....really? REALLY? Ridiculous.

She's a peach all right.

OH and autoreplies. Get this one. A teacher at school ...(I'll call him Mr. Performer)...(That's the nicest thing I could say. Others would call him many, many illegal things. He performs in front of the kids on a daily basis. They learn nothing. EVER. They sometimes play trivia games and watch Home Improvement on a daily basis. For "character development." Or some shit like that)....

Well Mr. Performer is at some training to get families more involved in our school. Fine. Whatever. You're still working. You're still getting paid. You're not on vacation. NOTICE: You still need to do your job.

So I send a reminder email today to the team to remind them about progress reports, and I get a quick reply from Mr. Performer. "I am out of the office and will be unavailable until Thursday. If you have x concerns, please call Power Trip."

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. (Napoleon says.) YOU ARE NOT ON VACATION. YOU'RE NOT EVEN OUT OF THE OFFICE. WHY ARE YOU SO SELF IMPORTANT THAT YOU PUT AN EMAIL ON AUTOREPLY?

WAIT. You are a teacher. You don't have an office.

The Queen and Power Trip would NEVER put it on autoreply when they are at a training but still working. SERIOUSLY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'm thinking of setting my email to autoreply: "I'm currently closing the achievement gap and cannot waste my time answering pointless email. I'll get back to you when I feel like it."