Today has been the craziest day in a long time.
We may or may not have taken an INTERESTING aerobics class tonight. With hair whipping. And heels.
In our news unit, we started doing our daily homework called "Newsworthy." We fill out a sheet about a news story we heard or read and why it was interesting to us. I have a few that are newsworthy...
"There was this story about a kid who almost got crushed by a train. I think it is interesting because I wonder what it feels like to be crushed."
And a few (yes, more than one) that echoed this sentiment: "There was this story about a person getting thrown in jail and it was interesting because my parent (s) are in jail."
Oh so sad. I cannot even FATHOM being without a parent during my formative years.
We also began our "dialogue" journals today. The kids, as part of their independent reading time, have to write letters to me and I will respond.
I. Literally. Died. while answering the letters.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
News Hilarity!
Okay, so we started our newspaper unit today.
So one of my kids sat down and opened his newspaper today and asked, "Ms. L, why do some people look like this when they are sitting on the toilet?"
HOW does one respond to that?
I just laughed. Shows how mature I really am.
So one of my kids sat down and opened his newspaper today and asked, "Ms. L, why do some people look like this when they are sitting on the toilet?"
HOW does one respond to that?
I just laughed. Shows how mature I really am.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
I swoon...
I have to share the conversations that I overheard today.
Kid 1: "I'm really nervous about Benchmarks today, Ms. L."
Kid 2: "Just have confidence in yourself." (such a smile already....)
Kid 1: "I do have confidence. But sometimes this stuff is hard."
How adorable, right?
But here's what made my day.
When walking into the room, Mr. Naughty says:
Naughty: "Ms. L, last night I had a dream that I was in college."
Me: "Really? Where were you?"
Naughty: "Duh, at Northwestern. We (points to his 3 buddies) were all roommates."
Me: (smiling. uncontrollably.) "What were you studying?"
Naughty: "Math. It was fun."
I ♥ my kiddos.
Kid 1: "I'm really nervous about Benchmarks today, Ms. L."
Kid 2: "Just have confidence in yourself." (such a smile already....)
Kid 1: "I do have confidence. But sometimes this stuff is hard."
How adorable, right?
But here's what made my day.
When walking into the room, Mr. Naughty says:
Naughty: "Ms. L, last night I had a dream that I was in college."
Me: "Really? Where were you?"
Naughty: "Duh, at Northwestern. We (points to his 3 buddies) were all roommates."
Me: (smiling. uncontrollably.) "What were you studying?"
Naughty: "Math. It was fun."
I ♥ my kiddos.
Monday, November 15, 2010
At Northwestern...
AND MY CLASSROOM!
That's right, everyone. An article in today's NY Times, that opens with how Northwestern University Professors use clickers in class....
And let us all remember that we use our CPS remotes every day! It gives instant feedback, instant differentiation, (instant grades) and it is generally more fun than using a pencil.
That's right, friends. We're doing something like the college kids!
Guess who's sharing THIS article before we take our benchmarks tomorrow? That's right, this kid.
That's right, everyone. An article in today's NY Times, that opens with how Northwestern University Professors use clickers in class....
And let us all remember that we use our CPS remotes every day! It gives instant feedback, instant differentiation, (instant grades) and it is generally more fun than using a pencil.
That's right, friends. We're doing something like the college kids!
Guess who's sharing THIS article before we take our benchmarks tomorrow? That's right, this kid.
Yes, that is the theme, thank you
Okay, so tomorrow begins the two days of benchmark testing. Oy. We need lots of pumping up for benchmarks.
Today I decided that we were going to read a story and discuss the theme. Like, get on the carpet kids, and let's share some Dr. Seuss and then talk about his literary implications.
So we read Yertle the Turtle.
If you don't know the story, its about this turtle name Yertle who rules over everything that he sees. He starts in a pond, cannot see enough, makes a throne of 9 turtles to see farther, and then more turtles stack up and Yertle can see farther and farther. Well this turtle named Mark keeps trying to tell Yertle that being on the bottom is painful...Yertle doesn't listen....wants to go higher than the moon....and so Mark burbs, and Yertle tumbles down. He ends up being king of the mud.
Brilliant story.
So, my kids were doing the "turn and talk" and discussing the theme. Then, I had them share.
Here's what I got (and expected to get):
"The theme of Yertle the Turtle is do not be bossy, because people will stop wanting to be your friend and stop helping you."
I appreciated that complete sentence. Then, I got this:
"The theme of Yertle the Turtle can be said in a sentence: The more power you try to gain, the less power you actually have."
PAUSE. STOP. REREAD. I TEACH 5TH GRADE.
I think I can retire, because that is the freaking best answer I have ever heard in my life.
Oh, apparently I have taught you something this year, my little geniuses.
Today I decided that we were going to read a story and discuss the theme. Like, get on the carpet kids, and let's share some Dr. Seuss and then talk about his literary implications.
So we read Yertle the Turtle.
If you don't know the story, its about this turtle name Yertle who rules over everything that he sees. He starts in a pond, cannot see enough, makes a throne of 9 turtles to see farther, and then more turtles stack up and Yertle can see farther and farther. Well this turtle named Mark keeps trying to tell Yertle that being on the bottom is painful...Yertle doesn't listen....wants to go higher than the moon....and so Mark burbs, and Yertle tumbles down. He ends up being king of the mud.
Brilliant story.
So, my kids were doing the "turn and talk" and discussing the theme. Then, I had them share.
Here's what I got (and expected to get):
"The theme of Yertle the Turtle is do not be bossy, because people will stop wanting to be your friend and stop helping you."
I appreciated that complete sentence. Then, I got this:
"The theme of Yertle the Turtle can be said in a sentence: The more power you try to gain, the less power you actually have."
PAUSE. STOP. REREAD. I TEACH 5TH GRADE.
I think I can retire, because that is the freaking best answer I have ever heard in my life.
Oh, apparently I have taught you something this year, my little geniuses.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
I admit...
I do overuse the word literally.
So the Oatmeal has written a hilarious comic about the overuse of that word.
I literally laughed out loud. But that was it.
So the Oatmeal has written a hilarious comic about the overuse of that word.
I literally laughed out loud. But that was it.
Food for thought
Well, really, more words for thought than food. (See how I got that explicit explanation of the idiom in there? It's because I teach fifth grade. We don't understand any idiom.)
I was reading the slew of articles about Joel Klein's departure as NY City Schools Chancellor, and one part of the many articles really stood out for me.
Before Klein got to the school system, this is how it was: (taken from here)
In the New York school system, nobody could be fired. Not only was there no accountability, Mr. Brill said, they had nothing to be accountable to. “There wasn’t any data in the entire system that could tell whether a student or a school was improving,” he said. “It didn’t exist.” Mr. Brill added: “I was talking to Bill Gates about this just last week. He said, ‘name a business where you have more than 100,000 employees and you have no idea who’s more effective than others.’ “
So interesting. Gates gets it. We cannot keep giving children a disservice by getting educated by an ineffective teacher.
I was reading the slew of articles about Joel Klein's departure as NY City Schools Chancellor, and one part of the many articles really stood out for me.
Before Klein got to the school system, this is how it was: (taken from here)
In the New York school system, nobody could be fired. Not only was there no accountability, Mr. Brill said, they had nothing to be accountable to. “There wasn’t any data in the entire system that could tell whether a student or a school was improving,” he said. “It didn’t exist.” Mr. Brill added: “I was talking to Bill Gates about this just last week. He said, ‘name a business where you have more than 100,000 employees and you have no idea who’s more effective than others.’ “
So interesting. Gates gets it. We cannot keep giving children a disservice by getting educated by an ineffective teacher.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
New Obsessions
I'm newly obsessed with this website that has a whole slew of games.
Try Factortris. I'm obsessed. Hello, center time!
Try Factortris. I'm obsessed. Hello, center time!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Substitute Horror
So, my fabulous co-teacher had to go to some training today. About something. That she didn't really want to learn about (not because she didn't want to learn but because she had already sat through most of this training this summer. She needed like, an hour of this 8 hour training, but they made her sit through the whole thing.)
But lo-and-behold, the powers that be sent her a sub.
Now, a normal sub would follow HER schedule. (You know, in my room when she should be and in the other room when she should be.)
But no. She just came and went as she pleased. (How she got this in her head was beyond me.)
So I hate telling adults what to do when I am teaching and telling my minions what to do, so I don't really feel the need to have a substitute. It bothers me because they never know what to do when I am in the room (because, heaven forbid, they would actually know how to support children with special needs...since that is what you were sent for).
So here is a conversation that happened today:
Sub: "Teacher, I have a question for you." (We were standing at a group, working on adding fractions.)
Me: "Yes?
Sub: "I need you to explain why these kids are getting different answers than I am."
Me: "Oh? On which question?"
Sub: "That math problem." (She points to one-half minus five-twelfths)
Me: "Well, this student has it correct."
Sub: "How is that the right answer?"
Me: "Well, one-half minus five-twelfths is one-twelfth, just like this entire table says."
Sub: "How did he get that?"
Me: "Kiddo, what did you do?"
Kid: "One - half is equivalent to six-twelfths, and six-twelfths minus five-twelfths is one twelfth. Then I checked it with these fraction bars."
Sub: "Oh, this new math is so different. No wonder I got it wrong. I guess I learned it the old-school way."
In my head: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT WAY YOU LEARNED IT, SUBTRACTING FRACTIONS WILL ALWAYS RESULT IN THE SAME ANSWER.
Oh my god. Get her out of my room.
But lo-and-behold, the powers that be sent her a sub.
Now, a normal sub would follow HER schedule. (You know, in my room when she should be and in the other room when she should be.)
But no. She just came and went as she pleased. (How she got this in her head was beyond me.)
So I hate telling adults what to do when I am teaching and telling my minions what to do, so I don't really feel the need to have a substitute. It bothers me because they never know what to do when I am in the room (because, heaven forbid, they would actually know how to support children with special needs...since that is what you were sent for).
So here is a conversation that happened today:
Sub: "Teacher, I have a question for you." (We were standing at a group, working on adding fractions.)
Me: "Yes?
Sub: "I need you to explain why these kids are getting different answers than I am."
Me: "Oh? On which question?"
Sub: "That math problem." (She points to one-half minus five-twelfths)
Me: "Well, this student has it correct."
Sub: "How is that the right answer?"
Me: "Well, one-half minus five-twelfths is one-twelfth, just like this entire table says."
Sub: "How did he get that?"
Me: "Kiddo, what did you do?"
Kid: "One - half is equivalent to six-twelfths, and six-twelfths minus five-twelfths is one twelfth. Then I checked it with these fraction bars."
Sub: "Oh, this new math is so different. No wonder I got it wrong. I guess I learned it the old-school way."
In my head: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT WAY YOU LEARNED IT, SUBTRACTING FRACTIONS WILL ALWAYS RESULT IN THE SAME ANSWER.
Oh my god. Get her out of my room.
Setting us back. Tons and tons.
Dear Washington Post,
I understand that you want to publish opinion pieces and become controversial, but really, please STOP publishing stuff like this.
It hurts me. It pains me that a professor would EVER say that math is not important.
Okay, fine. I don't know differential calculus.
But damn, do I know how to solve almost ALL math problems. And yes, math is important. You need math. You need to learn how to solve problems, all TYPES of problems. And you learn problem solving IN MATH CLASS.
I understand that you want to publish opinion pieces and become controversial, but really, please STOP publishing stuff like this.
It hurts me. It pains me that a professor would EVER say that math is not important.
Okay, fine. I don't know differential calculus.
But damn, do I know how to solve almost ALL math problems. And yes, math is important. You need math. You need to learn how to solve problems, all TYPES of problems. And you learn problem solving IN MATH CLASS.
Who loves me back?
We all remember the fateful discussion I had in late July, 2008.
My running joke for many years - "I love Butterfingers. But they don't love me back." It is one of those insights I had to have in my life and sometimes need to be reminded of.
BUT GUESS WHAT.
One of my loves asked me today, "Ms. L, what's your favorite chocolate?"
"Duh. Butterfingers."
And she runs off to write her poetry.
And guess what happens in this poem?
Ms. L travels to Chocolateland, where Butterfinger fawns all over her and tells her all the reasons why he loves her.
That's right, friends. FUCKING Butterfinger does love me back.
My running joke for many years - "I love Butterfingers. But they don't love me back." It is one of those insights I had to have in my life and sometimes need to be reminded of.
BUT GUESS WHAT.
One of my loves asked me today, "Ms. L, what's your favorite chocolate?"
"Duh. Butterfingers."
And she runs off to write her poetry.
And guess what happens in this poem?
Ms. L travels to Chocolateland, where Butterfinger fawns all over her and tells her all the reasons why he loves her.
That's right, friends. FUCKING Butterfinger does love me back.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Condescending
You know what I cannot handle anymore.
Condescending comments.
Or emails.
Especially emails.
If you have to veil an apology with a condescending remark, JUST DON'T MAKE THE APOLOGY.
I'd rather not hear your apology than hear your crappy apology and then add: "Just remember. This is what another teacher had to deal with all last year..."
Well last year, these kids failed. And I refuse to let that happen again.
Condescending comments.
Or emails.
Especially emails.
If you have to veil an apology with a condescending remark, JUST DON'T MAKE THE APOLOGY.
I'd rather not hear your apology than hear your crappy apology and then add: "Just remember. This is what another teacher had to deal with all last year..."
Well last year, these kids failed. And I refuse to let that happen again.
Well, I quit.
I don't ACTUALLY quit.
(Here is where I would have inserted the Saved! video clip where Cassandra climbs down from the ladder after putting up the Prom banner and says, "I quit." For comedic value. But I cannot find the clip for my life. Guess that's what I get for quoting the most RANDOM part of movies.)
But this week, I've felt like quitting. Why? I think it all boils down to the fact that I leave school feeling like the worst teacher in the world. I just feel like I have no support and I am drowning and ALL I want to do is have someone tell me what to do and no one will.
Just tell me what to do to make these kids learn. I've. Tried. Everything.
I'm ill-prepared to teach a classroom full of IEPs. I'm ill-prepared to teach students who cannot read. I'm ill-prepared and I ask for help and no one will be supportive.
All I want to do is see teaching that will reach my kids. Clearly, what I am doing is. not. working.
I'd, just once, like to feel like either someone thinks I am doing a good job (which scares me because hey, it's November and they still cannot read),
OR
someone comes in and does MAJOR overhauls of my teaching.
So, someone help me. I'm drowning. Please.
(Here is where I would have inserted the Saved! video clip where Cassandra climbs down from the ladder after putting up the Prom banner and says, "I quit." For comedic value. But I cannot find the clip for my life. Guess that's what I get for quoting the most RANDOM part of movies.)
But this week, I've felt like quitting. Why? I think it all boils down to the fact that I leave school feeling like the worst teacher in the world. I just feel like I have no support and I am drowning and ALL I want to do is have someone tell me what to do and no one will.
Just tell me what to do to make these kids learn. I've. Tried. Everything.
I'm ill-prepared to teach a classroom full of IEPs. I'm ill-prepared to teach students who cannot read. I'm ill-prepared and I ask for help and no one will be supportive.
All I want to do is see teaching that will reach my kids. Clearly, what I am doing is. not. working.
I'd, just once, like to feel like either someone thinks I am doing a good job (which scares me because hey, it's November and they still cannot read),
OR
someone comes in and does MAJOR overhauls of my teaching.
So, someone help me. I'm drowning. Please.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Holy frustrating, Batman
Today I began the day absurdly frustrated.
Why, may you ask? Because I got a frustrating email from one of our academic coaches, about how "she had been in meetings all week and could just NOT get something done that should have been done last week."
We all know how I HATE EXCUSES LIKE THAT.
Here are suggestions for getting your work done:
1) Stay afterschool like we all do. Have you seen our parking lot at about 5:30? Have you? Oh wait, no, I saw you leave at 3:30.
2) Get to school early. I pull into the parking lot at 7:00 am (or earlier) and there are at least 10 people already there. (Swear to god, in my first year I was one of the first people in the parking lot and I didn't get there until 7:15 or 7:20.)
3) Work during lunch. (Have you ever seen the copy machines going at lunch? They are crazy. And we are wolfing down our food in 2 minutes so we can hold detentions/remediate with kids/study longer/go get something from you because you said to pick it up by noon/have celebrations/and then do duty.)
4) Do some work before you sleep. (My couch and I are best friends during paper grading time, lesson planning time, rubric writing time, emailing time, etc.)
These are all the things that TEACHERS do to get their work done on time. Why, when you leave the classroom to "help" teachers, do you then devolve into refusing to ACTUALLY DO ANY FUCKING WORK ON TIME? DO SOME WORK. Then we'll listen to your asinine suggestions. (maybe. I'm not making any promises.)
It devolved from there.
A different academic coach came to pop-in observe the end of my writing/beginning of my reading lesson. Great! I love feedback. Please, tell me what to do. The only suggestion that was made was to get the kids to "choral read" the poem. But then she asked me to "share" my poetry stuff.
Herein lies the issue. HELLO? Not. My. Stuff. I coplan. It was my amazing partner's stuff. We all know I don't plan reading or writing. SO now I feel bad because it looks like I'm awesome when actually I'm just doing what I was told.
Then this academic coach showed up during our prep time when we sit around and plan for next week. Why? I have no idea. I felt weird that she was just there, watching us. Staring. Not saying anything. Just...spying? Who knows why she intruded on our planning with no warning. SHIT. We're being watched. There goes co-planning.
So, basically, instead of anything useful happening today, I just ended up devolving into frustrated messes because a) people don't do their jobs and b) people spy without telling why.
Why, may you ask? Because I got a frustrating email from one of our academic coaches, about how "she had been in meetings all week and could just NOT get something done that should have been done last week."
We all know how I HATE EXCUSES LIKE THAT.
Here are suggestions for getting your work done:
1) Stay afterschool like we all do. Have you seen our parking lot at about 5:30? Have you? Oh wait, no, I saw you leave at 3:30.
2) Get to school early. I pull into the parking lot at 7:00 am (or earlier) and there are at least 10 people already there. (Swear to god, in my first year I was one of the first people in the parking lot and I didn't get there until 7:15 or 7:20.)
3) Work during lunch. (Have you ever seen the copy machines going at lunch? They are crazy. And we are wolfing down our food in 2 minutes so we can hold detentions/remediate with kids/study longer/go get something from you because you said to pick it up by noon/have celebrations/and then do duty.)
4) Do some work before you sleep. (My couch and I are best friends during paper grading time, lesson planning time, rubric writing time, emailing time, etc.)
These are all the things that TEACHERS do to get their work done on time. Why, when you leave the classroom to "help" teachers, do you then devolve into refusing to ACTUALLY DO ANY FUCKING WORK ON TIME? DO SOME WORK. Then we'll listen to your asinine suggestions. (maybe. I'm not making any promises.)
It devolved from there.
A different academic coach came to pop-in observe the end of my writing/beginning of my reading lesson. Great! I love feedback. Please, tell me what to do. The only suggestion that was made was to get the kids to "choral read" the poem. But then she asked me to "share" my poetry stuff.
Herein lies the issue. HELLO? Not. My. Stuff. I coplan. It was my amazing partner's stuff. We all know I don't plan reading or writing. SO now I feel bad because it looks like I'm awesome when actually I'm just doing what I was told.
Then this academic coach showed up during our prep time when we sit around and plan for next week. Why? I have no idea. I felt weird that she was just there, watching us. Staring. Not saying anything. Just...spying? Who knows why she intruded on our planning with no warning. SHIT. We're being watched. There goes co-planning.
So, basically, instead of anything useful happening today, I just ended up devolving into frustrated messes because a) people don't do their jobs and b) people spy without telling why.
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