Affairs and BAMF

Monday's seem particularly crazy with my students.

One of them walks up to me today and asks to go to the bathroom. I tell him to give me his passport and I will sign it. I look at the passport, and instead of his name, he has written BAMF on it.

Now, if you know Dane Cook, you know what that means. If you don't, look it up. So, I have to go into my teacher voice and say, "You have 3 seconds to change this or we will have an issue." But inside, I was cracking up. "Miss L, you have to admit, that is funny." "Yes, I'm laughing on the inside, not on the outside."

But here's my favorite.
In pre-algebra class, I say:
"Guys, this is a working affair, not a talking affair."
I hear a squeaky voice say, "Miss L, what's an affair?"
And before I could answer, I hear someone else say, "Duh. Its like a carnival."

I laughed for a good 3 minutes.

Losing my mind...

I think I'm losing my damn mind. This is what happened today:

Phone rings in the morning: "Miss L, you have a new student. Please send your ambassadors."

New student comes, tells me her name is Vanessa. I look at her schedule, and it says her name is Sandy. "Sweetie, it says here your name is Sandy."

"Oh, my middle name is Vanessa." Okay, I think. I often call my kids by their middle names. So, 11:03 rolls around and the kids switch classes.

A girl walks in and I SWEAR I've seen her before. So, I go to my attendance online document, and it says a new student is enrolled in my second set of classes. This name? "Sandy." The same as this morning.

So I switch and look at my first hour, and lo and behold, "Sandy" is there again. Oh no! I think. They have scheduled her in my class all day, and she won't get reading. So I call the front office.

"Hey guys, I have a girl who's enrolled in my class all day."

"What's her name?"

"Sandy. She was here this morning, and then she came into my afternoon classes."

"Oh, Miss L, they're twins."

"What?"

"Twins. They are identical twins."

"But they have the same name."

"No, they have different middle names."

"So there are TWO of them?"

"Yes. One in your morning classes, one in your afternoon classes."

"Oh. Good to know, I guess. I SWEAR to God I thought I was losing my mind."

The truth about ducks

A conversation about ducks:

Miss L: but perhaps i'm just being too "emotional"... since some little birdy told me i acted like that

S: a little birdy? that's interesting

Miss L: well, some would say he looks like a fawn.

so a fawn told me? maybe a duck?

others would say this person looks like a duck

S: oh, that's just stupid. sometimes ducks say things only for effect.

Miss L: well, sometimes ducks are so deadpan in their sarcasm, others don't know if they are being truthful or trying for their own humorous effects

that's the problem with ducks.

that and they quack.

S: yeah, that quacking is an issue, but ducks, as a species, are not an insensitive bunch (so i've read), so it is likely that when something comes across as such it is only a sarcastic remark to irk the duck's suitor

Miss L: oh i see. well i'm going to have to take this new information about ducks not being insensitive and change my whole perspective about the duck species.

but that quacking man.

S: i know, obnoxious, and they just won't stop.